…and it’s mine.
I have a horrible what you might call “conversational affectation.”
If someone’s talking I’ll frequently interrupt them (I know I know) and give some alternative expression of what they said, either a summary or full blown explanation.
It’s got to drive people completely batshit and no matter how I try I can’t seem to stop myself.
The “rationale” is this: Saying “yes”, “yep” or “mm hmm” seems to me to be dismissive, something you’d say when you’re not really paying attention. What a part of my head is trying to do is say “yes, I am paying attention and I understand your point, here’s the proof…”
But the net effect in normal conversation is that I’m being a jackass. (I’d say “I SEEM like a jackass” but frankly I’m not that deep in denial.) It stops conversation because the other person stops talking thinking that I was just trying to butt in and get them to shut up so I could keep blathering, which is infrequently the case. (Though very rarely if someone’s just droning on I’ll do it intentionally just to get them to the damn point. No less rude, but if I get it I get it.)
Unfortunately this practice has been supported in the workplace. When I’m in meetings I frequently watch people talk to a room of people who have NO idea what they’re saying, so I’ll “play dumb” and say “so what you mean is this…” then watch a room full of heads bob in acknowledgment (then approach me afterward saying “why didn’t they just SAY that?”)
This is one of the reasons I’m better at communicating online. There’s a give and take built in to whatever the forum style is, be it twitter, email, blog posts/comments, etc. The pause is built in to the system. Of course it’s still annoying (I imagine, though nobody’s ever SAID anything to me about it) that I just repeat what someone else said.
So, sorry everyone. I am aware of it. I’m just making absolutely no headway in dealing with it.
