GI Joe
If you know what you’re getting in to, go see it.
If you’re one of those weird consistency wonks who needs things to make sense and obey the laws of physics. For instance, if it’s important to you that a movie pays attention to details like… oh… ice FLOATS… do NOT go see it.
It was two hours of boomy stupidness with a profoundly delicious (fake) redhead.
On my way home I was trying to navigate the movie vans, cabling equipment, film school losers and caterers on Atlantic ave here in Brooklyn (must be something big, they’re set up for the long haul) when some shittard was gesticulating wildly with his (closed) umbrella facing away from me.
One useful aspect of knowing that I’m a punch line for most of the world’s jokes in this sector is that I’ve learned to spot the ridiculous about 3 seconds early. It’s how God enables me to do the cartoon “oh shit” part of my role.
So, when the umbrella came swinging for my crotch I had time to roll my eyes before blocking and grabbing it.
“uh…uh… I’m sor..”
“GO THE FUCK BACK TO LA!”
I had the full “We don’t like you people here. This is our home, not your fucking sound stage playground. Die in a fire” rant ready to go but it would’ve summoned more of them.
Nothing I hate more in this city than film crews.
Nothing.
“Excuse me. Uhm, hi. sir? we’re gonna need you to…”
“I work that way. Move.”
“Ok great. but if you could walk around…”
“Get the fuck out of my way.”
“We have a permit…”
“You’re gonna need a fucking cast if you don’t move.”
So far nobody’s had the cojones to keep it up past that.
August 14th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
These little snots are like flies on a corpse in Park Slope. If they’re *actually shooting a scene*, I’ll probably cross the street or whatever so they don’t have to pay Jack Nicholson to do stuff twice…but when they’re obviously hours from doing anything, err, no…and they ALWAYS back down.
“Sir…umm, excuse me sir…this is a movie set here, we need you to -”
“No, this is my home.”
“Yes sir, but you have to -”
“Have to go home. Get the fuck out of my way Cali.”
Thanks Al Capone, Al Pacino, ec for Brooklyn’s tough guy reputation. But I still haven’t worked up the nerve to start grazing at the craft service table…