A Good Imagination and a Pile of Junk

No no, not him. Racist!

This past weekend I had a “something new” video game craving and I noticed on Steam that DM was bundled with a bunch of other games for a whopping $9.99. I downloaded a demo and a trailer vids. The trailers pushed me over. Dark Messiah (from the Might & Magic series) is a few years old now, but I figured it wasn’t going to be SO old as to be all revolting and dated.

Fortunately I was right.

Clever game mechanics, a meager attempt at an interesting plot (engaging but only really to see HOW they’d bring out the not too obvious but 10 obvious plot “twists”.)

There was an emphasis on “have to hit it JUST right” that leads you to 9000 save game reloads which is an absolute design failure. Unfortunately I’m not sure what the right solution is to make things difficult but still engage interest, which is odd since I know more about these damn things than I know about an awful lot which fortunately is saying something, which brings me to a sudden strange awareness of how I run on sentences using the word which, which is sorta sad but which hopefully you’re finding funny and which I’m going to stop doing now.

All in all a fun Sunday afternoon and Monday night romp. Unfortunately I was never quite sure how much more there was to the game so I kept playing last night…until I finished at about 3:00.

I still wish someone would put together a really good classic party-based RPG in the 21st century. The last really good one was Baldur’s Gate 2 and even that suffered from the failing that you didn’t really roll your own characters, past the main (so maybe Icewind Dale then.) Plus it was that 2.5d isometric sprite based retardedness that I just can’t stand. But nice plot, good pacing, AD&D mechanics are a bit tired.

Fortunately I find myself doing less and less of this crap as time goes forward. Gaming seems to be gravitating toward the same place as genre fiction. Sure, if something compelling comes out I’ll pick it up and blast through it. I’ve got my standard distractions but they just don’t take up much energy.

I never know how to end these rambling posts. Of course sometimes I have uniquely lucid thought that this means I perhaps oughtn’t have started them.

Nah.

Favorite Harvey Korman line of all time:

History of the World Part I:

“Don’t get saucy with me Bearnaise!”

Unfortunately I was 7 when I saw that the first time and aside from understanding by the timing that it was supposed to be a joke, had NO idea why it was funny.

Things from my childhood I rarely go through and systematically re-evaluate. I plod through it as I will.

So about 7 years ago (at 32 and change) I was idling at a bar, drinking my drink when out of no where my brain just stopped. You know, that moment where a part of your head just says “hold it hold it hold IT!” I started laughing… hard.

Uncontrollably.

The bartender paused, waiting for me to take a breath that wasn’t forthcoming.

“Don’t…..” *gasp*
“Don’t get… Don’t…. don’t get saucy …… with me …. Bearnaise! BWAHAHAHAHAHA.”

*falls off the barstool howling like a monkey*

After a couple of those “ok, that poor bastard’s just weird” dismissive head shakes I get from time to time and a few more minutes of purple-faced laughter I finally composed myself.

“Don’t get saucy with me bearnaise! I just got it! Mel Brooks… Like the sauce! Saucy!” BWAHAHA!
“Aren’t you like 30 something?”
“Uh huh.” I grabbed a cocktail napkin to blow my nose and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, still chuckling with occasional outbursts, muttering “saucy” under my breath.
“And you JUST got that.”
“Uh huh.” *sniffle*
“When’s the last time you saw the movie?”
“Like 15 years ago.”
“What made you think of that?” I paused…
“Sometimes I just think funny things.” I said through an inebriated haze. (Old timer at the other end of the bar chuckled.)
“What’s there to get? It’s bearnaise… the sauce… don’t get saucy. ha ha.”
Again I lost it.
“How many bars you been to tonight?”
“Just here.”
She shook her head and walked away, mildly amused but mostly perplexed. One of my favorite affects to have on people.

(h/t to Leeann for sparking the memory.)