A funny thing happened
A funny thing happened on the way to the new life
So I’ve been gearing up, getting my ducks in a row and all that hoohah.
As I mentioned my investment in the goings on in the daily grind have fallen through the floor. It’s left me with a feeling of freedom that I haven’t had in some time. I do recall the couple years after 9/11 and the way I started reacting differently to the world around me. It was quite something. But now, from the other side of it all I realize that 2 1/2 years of unemployment really just beat it all right back out of me and that that really is when I re-lost my way.
I was all fired up with “not going to take it any more”ness and didn’t think through what I wanted or how I was going to get it. So I cast myself out into the void hoping things would just take care of themselves. It was an expensive lesson. But it was a well learned lesson. The result I’m looking for this time is the same as the result I was LOOKING for last time. But as my friend says: This is about eating an elephant.
This week, as a result of all this, I had the timer ticking in my head. I was behaving and interacting with people as though it were my last few days. I barked. I said no. I called senior managers I wouldn’t have called directly before. I sent frank emails and cc’ed half the world to cut out the middle-man.
And the results were staggering. People started deferring to me. Managers, THEIR managers. In 72 hours I became the point person for several issues. I had always been the guy who had the most data about things. But now people knew I was the one to go to.
Part of me wants to ride that idea out a bit. But that’s very dangerous. See, this minor tidal change was fueled on an implicit promise to myself that I was leaving. That it didn’t matter, so I might as well get things done and crack some skulls. I can’t back down on that in the mere interest of continuing this wave. In some perhaps not so strange way, that would be lying to myself and failing to follow through.
It reminds me of the behavioral medication problem. “Oh I’ve been on antidepressants for years and I’m fine, so I probably don’t need them any more.” uhm… no. that doesn’t work so well.
I thought this thought was put together a bit better in my head. Looks like I’m going to have to roll it around a bit, let it simmer.
Tags: UCCU